Friday, January 27, 2012

SFTR: New Orleans in Nutshells

I have learned many things from my recent experiences in New Orleans. Here is a select list of these important findings.

--If the song "Silent Lucidity" plays in a restaurant before the meal is served, it will probably be a top 5 meal of the year.

--A homeless man does, sadly, feel shame in leaving a urine stain on the sidewalk.

--Bad saxophone players cannot ruin good beignets.

--The last place I want to be on a hot summer day is in a New Orleans streetcar.

--There are good tapas in America.

--Giving an oral presentation after less than one hour of sleep is extremely hazardous to your health.

--Chad's Lemma #2043: Do not eat hash browns after 1 am local time.

--There is a reason bone marrow has been identified as Anthony Bourdain's death row meal.

--There is an important difference between ham and jamon. It is best to learn this distinction early in life.

--The phrase "who dat?" should not be used publicly in jest.

--Providing me free things is a precursor to public embarrassment.

--When attending the Avenue Pub, it is best to bring long sleeves and a history of sleep.

--As much as Brian Eno's music wants to put me to sleep, it has a history of exceptional failure.

--Fountains can and sometimes do produce fire.

--When a person named Angela tells you the next streetcar stop is yours, add two more stops.

--There is no such thing as a free lunch.

--The term "huge ass beers" is a misnomer.

--I really, really like gumbo.

--Amateur photographers need only stroll in the French Quarter to realize they are really no good.

--For instant entertainment, take your mother to Bourbon Street.

--Duck is quack, not wack.