I have learned many things from my recent experiences in New Orleans. Here is a select list of these important findings.
--If the song "Silent Lucidity" plays in a restaurant before the meal is served, it will probably be a top 5 meal of the year.
--A homeless man does, sadly, feel shame in leaving a urine stain on the sidewalk.
--Bad saxophone players cannot ruin good beignets.
--The last place I want to be on a hot summer day is in a New Orleans streetcar.
--There are good tapas in America.
--Giving an oral presentation after less than one hour of sleep is extremely hazardous to your health.
--Chad's Lemma #2043: Do not eat hash browns after 1 am local time.
--There is a reason bone marrow has been identified as Anthony Bourdain's death row meal.
--There is an important difference between ham and jamon. It is best to learn this distinction early in life.
--The phrase "who dat?" should not be used publicly in jest.
--Providing me free things is a precursor to public embarrassment.
--When attending the Avenue Pub, it is best to bring long sleeves and a history of sleep.
--As much as Brian Eno's music wants to put me to sleep, it has a history of exceptional failure.
--Fountains can and sometimes do produce fire.
--When a person named Angela tells you the next streetcar stop is yours, add two more stops.
--There is no such thing as a free lunch.
--The term "huge ass beers" is a misnomer.
--I really, really like gumbo.
--Amateur photographers need only stroll in the French Quarter to realize they are really no good.
--For instant entertainment, take your mother to Bourbon Street.
--Duck is quack, not wack.
